Pot Calling The Kettle Black
Posted on 27. Apr, 2010 by Ken Bechtel in The Goo Blog
There is a scene in an episode of the “Friends†television show where Phoebe is having a conversation with Monica and Monica tells Phoebe she really should not be acting a certain way when Monica acts this way all the time herself. Phoebe, in that wonderfully quixotic way of hers, steps out of the conversation, holds her hand to her ear like a telephone receiver and says, “Oh hello kettle, this is the pot…you’re black.â€
I love this scene. It happens more often than we realize. We are being the pot and we are not even aware of it.
You are the pot calling the kettle black when you point to another person and accuse that person of doing something that you are guilty of doing yourself. “The pot” (for cooking) and “the kettle” (for boiling water) sit on the stove over the fire and become black from the flames. Example: “I’m tired of you always wearing my clothing!” Answer: “Aren’t you the pot calling the kettle black? You’re wearing my pants right now!” 

The pot and the kettle are like old friends who have turned black with time; the pot only sees the blackness which is on the kettle; he doesn’t see the black on himself.
I have certainly caught myself doing this. It is easy to do. Partly because, as you may be aware, the people in our lives often act as mirrors to us. For example, when I suggest to someone, they could be more compassionate; it is easy for me to spot in them because I probably also lack compassion in some area of my life.
The great thing about this happening is it gives us an opportunity to look in the mirror that this other person is being for us and notice what we see about our self.
Sure it is a bit embarrassing to be called out on this behavior, but it is a great chance to expand our awareness. We don’t even have to wait for someone to call us on it. We can simply notice when we are pretty charged up about something we notice in another person.
Maybe you have a group of friends that seems to always complain about work when they get together. It literally seems like the only thing they talk about. Ask yourself, if you are matching that energy. Are you unhappy about your work or feel trapped by it? Sometimes our reactions to others reveals where we are ourselves.
This is the Goo. It is the Goo we don’t even realize we are in, but it is still there. So next time you find yourself being the pot calling the kettle black get excited. Now that you have identified the Goo you are in you can do something about it.
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