Cheeseburger in Paradise

Posted on 06. May, 2010 by in The Goo Blog

I often use the example making a perfect cheeseburger to explain how we all must find our own answers.  (my apologies to the vegetarians reading this, please feel free to substitute a veggie burger or a portabella mushroom for your example)

My perfect cheeseburger would consist of a plump, juicy beef patty grilled medium on the BBQ grill, served on a toasted onion roll.  The bottom of the onion roll would have a nice layer of garlic infused mayonnaise spread on it.  On top of the burger would be a slice of melted sharp cheddar cheese, grilled onions, sautéed mushrooms, three slices of crisp bacon, topped off with a generous portion of hickory smoked BBQ sauce.  An additional portion of bbq sauce would be served along side for dipping.

My mouth is watering just writing about this.  That is my perfect cheeseburger, but that does not mean it is yours.  You may think this sounds awful or you may think it sounds great.  The point is my version is no more right or perfect than yours is.  It is simply my answer, my perfect cheeseburger.

Jimmy Buffet has a song called “Cheeseburger in Paradise.”  In this he sings, “I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes, big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer, Well good god almighty which way do I steer for my Cheeseburger in Paradise.”

(OK, how many of you “parrot heads” were singing along as you read that?  I was.)

Anyway, my friend Gina, used to wait tables at Jimmy Buffet’s restaurant in Key West, Florida that is called Margaritaville.  She told me that by far the most popular burger on the menu was the, you guessed it, the Cheeseburger In Paradise.  And if it was not served exactly like the song described it, for example if the big kosher pickle did not get on the plate, they got pissed.  But what made this situation amusing, was she continually overheard the people who ordered this burger saying that it was not that good.

It is not surprising that they did not love this cheeseburger.  This was Jimmy’s ideal cheeseburger in paradise not theirs.  If this combination of condiments and sides was not their favorite back home, what made them think that was going to change once they got to Key West?

See I can tell you my answers but I cannot tell you yours.  This is true in all aspect of our lives.  From food, to what is funny, to what is scary to, what is sexy.  Everyone has his or her own answers.  This is why when I coach someone my job, as I see it, is not to teach you “the answers.”  There is no such thing as “the answers.”  My job is to help you find your answers.

To me a good teacher is someone who helps you find your answers, not someone who tells you theirs.

When I am working with someone, and they ask me a question, it is common for me to reply with, “What do you think?”  This is not because I do not have an answer; it is because I do not have their answer.  Only they have that.

Think about how many times you ask someone, what should I wear or what is more important?  Now the person you ask can certainly tell you what they would wear if they were you, but they aren’t you.  Or they could tell you what is more important to them, but there is no way for them to tell you what is more important for you.

The more I can remind you that you have your own answers and then support you in trusting those answers, the better job I feel I am doing for you as a coach.

So next time you catch yourself asking someone, “What should I (whatever – eat, wear, do?)” stop and ask yourself “What do I think?”  You might be surprised by the answer you get.  Only you know your answers. Give yourself a listen.

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