Hello Misery, let me see when I can fit you in my schedule

Posted on 20. Mar, 2010 by Ken Bechtel in The Goo Blog

I was just talking with a friend of mine who was having a hard time due to an old boyfriend who was back in town.

She was going through the standard mental gyrations of :  What if I run into him?  What will I say?  I don’t want to get involved with him again.? Etc.  She was miserable.

As the conversation continued, she said something that I found profound.  She said, “ I am really busy right now with work, I don’t have time for this.”

Well when do you have time for this, I asked?  When would sadness, anxiety and misery really be your first choice of things to do?

Were you thinking, “I wish I wasn’t so busy with work so I could fit some misery in?”  or “I’m sorry misery, I know I have not been very available for you lately.  Tell you what, I will rearrange my schedule on Thursday and make some time for you right after lunch.  How does 1:30 work for you?”

Of course you weren’t.  But somehow we convince ourselves that if we went through a “big” breakup or a “big” transition of any type, it requires lots of time to get over.

The truth is as soon as you honestly decide you are done being sad, anxious or miserable you are.  As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”  Same goes for if you think you are sad or think you aren’t sad you are right.

The choice is always yours.  No one else can decide this for you.  As soon as you decide to accept whatever gift came from the experience and release the rest, you are free.

It may sound overly simplistic, but a helpful thing to remember is that energy has no limitations of time or space.  The only limitations on energy shifting are the ones you impose upon it.

Since you have a choice, which do you choose:  to be happy now or to be sad and miserable for another week, month or year and then be happy.

I am not saying to deny your feelings.  Just because you are sad or crying does not mean you are weak or miserable.  It means you are strong and growing.  Facing your emotions and fears is one of the strongest, most empowered things anyone can do.

Anyone can hide from their feelings and keep up appearances to the rest of the world only to go home, shut the door and collapse in a heap on the floor.  But it takes courage to be honest with yourself so you can move forward.

Tags: anxiety, boyfriend, break up, change, choice, empowerment, energy, feelings, frustration, gift, growth, honesty, miserable, sadness, self improvement, strength