Stop Pre-Judging
Posted on 26. Apr, 2010 by Ken Bechtel in The Goo Blog
During my meditation recently, I held the intention that I wanted to show up more honestly in my business and life. When I asked what step I could take to help fulfill this intention, I received the answer, “stop pre-judging myself for others.”  As confusing as that may sound to you, it made perfect sense to me.
I have a long history of convincing myself that I know what others will think of something I am considering doing, saying, wearing or whatever. Â How arrogant is that?
I literally have convinced myself that I know what other’s experience of me will be and then base my behavior on that belief. This is a very limiting behavior.  It is also a big chunk of my armor.
Here is the other amazing thing. I was not judging others, I was judging myself for others. I was not open to hearing other’s opinions, because I had already decided their opinion for them.
For example, if someone suddenly turned and looked at me as I entered a room or office, I immediately assigned my idea of what they were thinking and why they had turned to look. And it was undoubtedly for a negative reason.
I did not realize how much I did this until I was telling a friend how I had been at an event and everyone seemed to be looking at me and I just knew it was because they thought I had dressed inappropriately for the event. And my friend said, “How do you know they were not admiring what you had on or that they were looking at you for a totally unrelated but equally positive reason?â€
I did not have an answer. She was right, there were countless reasons these folks could have been looking and it is just as likely that the reason was positive as negative.
Do you do this? How do you adjust your perspective when you notice you are limiting yourself in this way?
I have my own techniques and they have been integrated into my work and how I assist others in opening up to possibility. The possibility that you are being looked at because you are being admired instead of being admonished, that they find you attractive instead of ugly, that you are inspiring as opposed to annoying.
When I started viewing the world with the lenses of positive possibilities, my whole world changed, and yours can too. This is one of the elements of living a Goo-Free life.
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